095: Journey Through the Forgotten Comic Book Bin #2
Welcome back! It’s finally time to continue my quest to delve into the dusty bin of mostly-forgotten comic books I rescued from my mom’s garage! I didn’t mean to take so long between posts (the last one was post 63!) but I was distracted by other projects and my ambitious plans to expand this series in a new way. More on that another time, though. Here is the previous post for those who missed it:
Comics!
I have an eclectic batch of comics selected for this outing, giving a good cross-section of what my reading habits were when I was young. I had a mix of different comics in my old collection… some more serious Marvel stuff, some tie-in comics from movies and TV shows, and lots of Looney Tunes and Disney stuff. So I chose one from each category this time. First off, we’ll start with a staple of my beginner reading— silly Disney adventures!
Cover. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
Walt Disney’s Comics and Stories #469: Published by Gold Key with a cover date of October 1979. I really do have a lot of Disney comics. The issue count on this is insane, considering the date. In my research I learned that Comics and Stories began in 1940 and ran all the way until 2020 for a total of 756 issues. That’s an impressive run! (And they didn’t even start over on the issue count… I’m looking at you, Marvel.) There were a few gaps in publication and the series migrated to several different publishers over the years, but it kept on until Covid killed it. (I assume.)
As was the standard at the time in many children’s comics, no writers or artists were credited in the pages. (The same was true of Archie in the previous post.) This was due to work-for-hire contracts that gave full ownership of the work to the publishers. A lousy practice, and one that’s mostly non-existent these days. (Although creator’s rights are still a touchy subject.)
Strangely, Huey Dewey and Louie are shown on the cover in the wrong colored hats and shirts. On the cover they wear purple, yellow, and orange. Traditionally they wear red, blue, and green. (Huey, Dewey, and Louie in that order. Yes, I had to look it up. I doubt even Donald knows.) Inside the issue they’re back to normal colors. I also learned in my research that there is a mysterious “fourth nephew” named Phooey. This is a running joke caused by artist error in some older comics where an extra duck was added accidentally. (I wonder if I have any appearances of Phooey? I’ll have to pore over all of them to see.) But enough of the weird rabbit holes I explore while compiling my posts.
I feel like there’s a lot of places Donald is banned from. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
As with most of the Disney comics, this one is made up of multiple comic stories and one single page text story. The first story involves Daisy convincing Donald to visit the mountain monument of a weird-looking guy named Senator Snoggin. Donald is hesitant due to a “botched job” he and his nephews did.
Such a dignified head. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
He tells the story about how they were hired to clean up the park and specifically the monument. They make several jokes about “Snoggin’s noggin.”
Eagle diplomacy. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
Donald gently attempted to get an eagle to move her nest.
When eagle diplomacy fails. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
It didn’t go well.
Accidental nose job. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
Through a series of misadventures, they end up dying the nose red with weed killer, burning trash inside the head so that the smoke comes out of the mouth, and ultimately end up knocking the entire nose off. To cover up for this, they make a new nose out of plaster and fill in the hole in the mouth, which pisses off some bees.
What an odd coincidence. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
Back in present day, as they look at the giant head, it just happens to fall apart right at that moment, leaving the head to resemble an ape. The ducks flee the site of the crime and the story ends.
Flee Donald, flee! (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
The moral of the story? Don’t hire ducks for your custodial jobs.
What a filthy mouth. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
The second story is about the odd pairing of Jiminy Cricket and Tinkerbell. I always found this very weird, but there was something novel to young me in the pairing of two characters from two different movies. Who would have guessed that shared cinematic universes would be so widespread decades later?
In this story Jiminy is carried away by the wind and rescued by Tink, who showers him with pixie dust. He becomes a flying super conscience, and quickly gets captured by a mother eagle. (Yeah, weird huh? There are two stories in a row involving female eagles. The mysterious uncredited writer must have been on an eagle kick.) Tink scares the eagle away and Jiminy decides to stay on the ground. That’s all there is to it.
Gawrsh. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
After a one page text story about Mickey, Minnie, Clarabelle the cow, and Chip ‘n Dale having a picnic, we get a third comic story which involves Mickey and Goofy trying to build a house while babysitting a baby elephant that fell off a circus truck.
Sqwup. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
Although Mickey claims he’s adding a playroom to his house, he’s clearly building an entire house. The elephant keeps getting in the way and Goofy keeps abusing its poor trunk.
Trunk abuse. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
And it’s not just Goofy. Mickey hates elephants too.
Struck by elephant booty at full speed. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
Their thoughtless mistreatment of the poor baby elephant leads to the house / playroom being trashed. They’re also smushed by the elephant’s butt.
A happy (?) ending. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
At the end, the pair get half-price tickets to the circus for being jerks. I guess animal abuse pays off in unexpected ways? No, that can’t be the intended moral. How about: if you abuse animals, you’ll lose your playroom AND have to go to the circus. That’s more like it.
You don’t want to know how this happened. Believe me. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
Thoughts: Silly, light-hearted stuff. The stuff with Donald and the eagle made me laugh. I think that while Goofy sounded a lot like his cartoon counterpart, Donald certainly didn’t seem to have the same voice. He spoke too proper. I remember Donald being a more casual speaker. Mickey’s always been kind of a non-character straight-man to me, so I can’t really say for sure how they did with him. Too much trunk fetish abuse, though.
I actually had a different issue of the same series picked out for this post, but when I sat down to read it, I realized I was missing about six pages or so from the middle of it. The end of the first story and the beginning of the second. Who knows what happened to those pages. They’re probably lost forever. Now I’ll never know if Donald Duck gets down from that parade float balloon shaped like him!
You know what? Let’s do it anyway. You get a bonus issue.
Cover. (Credit: Walt Disney, Whitman)
Walt Disney’s Comics and Stories #459: Published by Whitman with a cover date of December 1978. Yes, a different imprint from the issue that came out almost a year later. It changed hands a lot. The cover shows an unsuspecting Donald moments before a vicious mauling. His luck isn’t any better inside the issue.
Seems excessive. (Credit: Walt Disney, Whitman)
In the first story, Donald is driven crazy because the kids keep messing up his carefully-raked yard with balloon-related shenanigans. Getting the help of resident inventor, Gyro Gearloose, Donald has a giant balloon of himself made to get revenge on the triplets.
Donald gets in another predicament. (Credit: Walt Disney, Whitman)
Gone mad with power, he forces them to re-rake the yard. While they do, he falls asleep. He bumps the gas lever and the balloon fills up more, floating away. The air base notices him and decide to shoot him out of the sky. Which is totally a normal reaction to seeing something you can’t explain.
Last known photo. (Credit: Walt Disney, Whitman)
Donald begs for his life and then…
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Gawrsh. (Credit: Walt Disney, Whitman)
It just ends there. This is where the missing pages hit. The next story, of which the beginning is missing, involves Mickey and Goofy investigating Goofy’s missing money. He deposited $20 into the bank but now it’s gone.
Goofy gets flashed on the street. (Credit: Walt Disney, Whitman)
The banker says this has been happening a lot. The pair find a totally not shady-looking man taking the bank customer’s photos and they get hypnotized into depositing their money into the camera store instead. Mickey and Goofy are thwarted in their attempts to catch the criminals and the photographer hypnotizes them to help him get away with the money.
The Daily Blab is no Daily Bugle. (Credit: Walt Disney, Whitman)
Before he can throw them overboard, Mickey reveals that he had his eyes closed and never got hypnotized. The money is returned to the bank and the two are heroes. The end.
I like how the balloon looks worried here. (Credit: Walt Disney, Whitman)
Thoughts: I usually don’t notice the lettering, but it was absolutely horrible in the second story. The “D”s, “R”s and “P”s are strangely squished and it all looks shaky. Maybe they were rushed? Other than that, this was a pretty by-the-numbers issue. Silly situations ensue and are wrapped up pretty quickly. Well, except for Donald’s predicament. But I’m sure he’s fine… right?
I read a lot of Disney comics growing up. And not just Comics and Stories. I have a bunch of Uncle Scrooge comics and I seem to recall some dedicated comics for the Beagle Boys and Goofy as well. Maybe some others too. I could be misremembering, though. Maybe I’ll dig up an Uncle Scrooge comic for next time.
Cover. (Credit: Whitman, Art: Winslow Mortimer)
Battle of the Planets #5: Published by Whitman with a cover date of February 1980. Once again, no writer or artist credited in the actual issue. But my research turned up that the art was done by Winslow Mortimer. This series ran from 1979 to 1981 for a total of 10 issues. This comic was a licensed work based on the cartoon Battle of the Planets, the Sandy Frank Americanized adaptation of Japan’s popular anime Science Ninja Team Gotchaman. (If Sandy Frank sounds familiar, you just may be an MST3K fan.)
Funny coincidence, but there was actually an ad for this comic series in the first Disney issue we covered, right in the middle of the baby elephant abuse. Gold Key and Whitman were both imprints of the same publishing company, which explains why both names appear on the Disney comics.
Don’t ask me who the robot is. He’s only shown this one time. (Credit: Whitman, Art: Winslow Mortimer)
Member of G-Force, Tiny (who is, of course, the hefty guy) has given in to peer pressure and decided to compete to become Mr. Galaxy. The villain, Zoltar, has enrolled two of his strongest henchmen into the contest because his boss (a weird misty evil face on the wall) wants G-Force defeated. Zoltar comes in person, disguised as the big guys’ manager.
So graceful. (Credit: Whitman, Art: Winslow Mortimer)
Tiny manages to defeat the first one and then is trapped under a barbell in the weight room. Because I guess the best way to unwind after one fight and prep for the next one is to tire yourself out lifting weights?
It was way too easy to kidnap her. (Credit: Whitman, Art: Winslow Mortimer)
Princess (the girl of the team) serves the role most female characters played in comics of the day… she gets kidnapped and tied up in a cave. This is a highly trained superhero and she was tricked by “Hey, come here and get your present.“
He looks so happy! (Credit: Whitman, Art: Winslow Mortimer)
Zoltar tries to blow them up but they inexplicably survive.
The guy in white is kind of a jerk. (Credit: Whitman, Art: Winslow Mortimer)
After this, we get to the part referenced on the cover. Zoltar has sent a giant mechanical vulture to capture their ship, which I guess has “supernatural powers”? It seems like there could have been an easier way to confiscate their ship, but whatever. You have the money and technology to build a giant robot vulture, you’re damn well gonna build a giant robot vulture.
So I guess they’re not burning to a crisp inside that thing? (Credit: Whitman, Art: Winslow Mortimer)
Anyway, they take a plane and dock in their ship, turn it to fire, melt the vulture’s talons, and then blow it up. They rush off to find Zoltar, not realizing he’s back at the hotel, pretending to be the bellhop.
What the hell is the kid talking about? (Credit: Whitman, Art: Winslow Mortimer)
Thoughts: I loved the Battle of the Planets cartoon when I was a kid. It was one of the shows that I never missed, along with Battlestar Galactica, Fraggle Rock, and the Muppet Show. This would have been the first anime I was exposed to, although it was a highly-edited and dubbed Americanized version of the show.
As a comic, this thing was kind of a mess. It’s not very accessible. You would have had to have been familiar with the show to know what was going on. All the character’s names are given halfway through the comic in one panel. The premise is not explained. There’s just a bunch of human characters (one of which keeps saying weird things like “doodle borp” and “zamfstkpt”) and suddenly they’re in bird-themed superhero costumes. Do they even have powers? The comic is not concerned with answering any of these questions.
It did make me want to look for the cartoon, though. I’m sure it’s streaming somewhere. I tried watching the original Gatchaman once in my early 20s and found it slow and boring. But I may give it another try.
Cover (Credit: Glen A. Larson Productions, Marvel Comics. Writer/Artist: Walt Simonson)
Battlestar Galactica #23: Published by Marvel Comics, cover date January 1981. Writer/Artist: Walt Simonson. This is a licensed comic set in the world of the science fiction TV show of the same name. (Way before SyFy got their hands on it and rebooted it to new heights of awesome.) This series lasted for 23 issues between 1979 and 1981.
While the first five issues were fairly faithful adaptations of the episodes, the rest of the series went off on its own story, ending with an actual conclusion that the TV show never got. Judging by this and the Indiana Jones comic I covered last time, Marvel took these licensed comics seriously, not just trying to cash in on fads. (I’ve also read the entirety of the Star Wars Marvel comic from the 70s and 80s. Star Wars will probably be one I cover in a later post, as I did manage to collect several issues of that series as well.)
This poor comic. (Credit: Glen A. Larson Productions, Marvel Comics. Art: Ernie Colon)
I have several issues of Battlestar Galactica (six that I could readily find) including the first and final issues. After much thought, I decided to cover Issue 23 since it’s one of the original stories, and the final issue. I nearly went over #2, since it was one of the very first comic books I remember ever reading and the cover is still really familiar to me. (Just look at it, isn’t it cool? So nostalgic.) However, since it’s an adaption of the TV movie, and the issue is very deteriorated, I decided to go with Issue 23 instead. I loved the show so much as a kid that I treasured the comics. Sadly, this issue is one of the worst-kept comics in my entire collection and is deteriorating rapidly. (Don’t worry, it’s been bagged and boarded now. Decades too late.)
Exciting. (Credit: Glen A. Larson Productions, Marvel Comics. Writer/Artist: Walt Simonson)
This will be a quick recap because it’s pretty dry stuff and I don’t think I have the issues leading up to this one. I had to piece together the story from what I found in this issue. Food is going missing and the crew are investigating. It turns out the richest people in the fleet are using space pirates to steal the food and running off with it, hiding it aboard one of the many ships in the fleet.
Hey look, action. (Credit: Glen A. Larson Productions, Marvel Comics. Writer/Artist: Walt Simonson)
Apollo and Jolly (the latter of which looked way different in the show) find the millionaire's hideaway and are about to be executed when Starbuck reveals he was disguised among the criminals and saves them. The smuggling ring is broken up and the ringleader arrested.
BOING! BOING! DE-BOING! (Credit: Glen A. Larson Productions, Marvel Comics. Writer/Artist: Walt Simonson)
Also we learn that the sound of laser pistols being dropped is “BOING.”
Exposition time! (Credit: Glen A. Larson Productions, Marvel Comics. Writer/Artist: Walt Simonson)
In a very abrupt plot twist, Admiral Adama announces that the general location of Earth has been found and they’re about to head there right away. It’s a long ways away, but now they’ve decoded the clues they found in earlier issues and have the path charted. They’re leaving the ship full of pirates and millionaires behind, presumably to die immediately in a Cylon attack. Tough, but fair.
When daggits attack. (Credit: Glen A. Larson Productions, Marvel Comics. Writer/Artist: Walt Simonson)
Right after, we get a couple pages where other plot points are quickly wrapped up. Boxey’s robot dog Muffey has been rebuilt. (He melted in a rather grotesque scene earlier in the series.) Also Jolly reunites with his girlfriend for smooches. They all have a party. The Galactica jumps and starts back on the long road to Earth.
But then a Cylon tracking ship locates the pirates that have been left for dead. This hints that the Cylons will now have a way to continue following the fleet. The End.
Flying off to adventure. Or something. (Credit: Glen A. Larson Productions, Marvel Comics. Writer/Artist: Walt Simonson)
Thoughts: Battlestar Galactica was one of my favorite shows as a kid. I may not have understood a lot of it, but there was flashing lights, spaceships, aliens, and a robot dog. Revisiting it as an adult I found it a little dry and slow, but still enjoyable. (Except Galactica 1980. That was a mess.) I love the fact that the comic book series took a different approach, introducing its own storylines, playing with the premise, and giving the story a conclusion of sorts.
However, for a final issue, this was pretty dull. An investigation into a food smuggling conspiracy? It makes me feel like this wasn’t meant to be the last issue but they had to wrap up their storyline and put a little bow on things as quickly as possible. If it was supposed to really be the finale, I would think they’d spare a few pages to give the main characters some concluding moments, not just Jolly. At least Boxey got his dog back. (Sorry… his “daggit”.) And the last page with the Cylons seemed a little vague and more like a “to be continued” than a '“the end“. So I’m absolutely convinced that this was meant to be leading into the next story arc, not closing out the series. The letters page all but confirms the cancellation was somewhat unexpected, citing low sales.
A gender-swapped Captain Marvel? What will they think of next? (Credit: Marvel Comics, Hostess)
Ad Corner: As always, these issues had some great ads for us to look at. We got three cool Hostess ads spread throughout these issues. The first one stars Captain Marvel… no not that one. This is the original one, Mar-Vell, who ponders how alien Earth is to him. But since there are such things as Twinkies, he understands that Earth has good on it as well. A wonderful lesson for us all.
But wait, “creamed filling”? Eww. Still, this ad is effective. I want Twinkies now.
Cherry! Delicious! (Credit: Marvel Comics, Hostess)
The second Hostess ad was for fruit pies and featured Captain America battling some generic mad scientist who calls himself the “Mad Deserter”. He hits people with a ray that… makes them desert their jobs and families? Why? We’ll never know. Captain America has the cure, though. Delicious Hostess fruit pies. And a side of ass-kicking for the Mad Deserter. Yay!
Photoman is not getting out of this alive. (Credit: Marvel Comics, Hostess)
The third Hostess ad (actually from Battlestar Galactica Issue 2) stars Spider-Man and this one is back to Twinkies. In this one, he’s fighting the classic villain, Photoman! Photoman freezes people with his camera so he can mug them. The vile villain steals Spidey’s precious Twinkies and is left on the side of a presumably very tall building. Spidey swings off, probably to buy more Twinkies in case Doctor Octopus attacks. I hope he remembers his webbing dissolves after a half an hour. We never see Photoman again, so maybe not? Hey, at least he left Photoman’s Twinkie-eating arm free. Spidey’s not a monster.
It’s great, is what I’m saying. Also, I went out and got some Twinkies. They’re expensive now. But still tasty. Not “get distracted from my plans for world domination” tasty, but tasty enough.
Plus, kind of weird how the Mickey and Goofy adventure also featured an evil criminal with a camera. Weird, huh? I swear I didn’t plan these coincidences.
I wonder what would happen if you tossed this off a building.
Along with some old standards, like Grit, cheap novelties, and sea monkeys, there’s an ad for something called “Flipit” which I’ve seen before in other comics. I never really understood what it was, but I guess you put the sleeve over a balloon and throw it? It’s says it’s exciting, but I guess I fail to see how.
DO NOT BE ALARMED.
I remember seeing this gum ad when I was a kid. This is just a small portion of it, but the ad is a full page and mostly text. Odd choice. Maybe they thought anyone who would read through an entire page hyping gum would be won over and buy it?
Authentic.
There weren’t many interesting ads in Battle of the Planets, but I did find this one that was familiar to me. “Authentic” Apache arrow heads. 50 cents each or 3 for $1. This is the kind of casual racism that was rampant in the 80s. (As opposed to the casual racism of today.)
Diabolical. And totally a trap. (Credit: Marvel Comics)
And finally, Doctor Doom unveils his latest nefarious scheme… giving you a great deal of an annual subscription to four comic series of your choice! BWAHAHA! The world is as good as DOOM’S!
Happens to me ALL the time. (Credit: Walt Disney, Gold Key)
And there you have it! Four (well, more like 3.75) more comics from my archives. There’s still a lot more treasures to mine from the bin, and I’m already making plans for what to cover next post.
Spidey always carries delicious Twinkies brand snack cakes. (Credit: Marvel Comics, Hostess)
Thank you for joining me on the long-awaited second leg of our endless journey. I promise I’ll be back much sooner for Part 3. And keep an eye out for announcements… as I mentioned, there will be an unexpected expansion of this series in the near future. (I was working on it alongside this post, in fact.) For now, I’ll keep it as a surprise. Until then, thank you again, I appreciate you all, and keep reading old comics!
We’ll never forget you Donald. (Credit: Walt Disney, Whitman)
