SoraRabbit Short Hop 011: That Time SoraRabbit Read More X-Comics

I have a strange one for you this time. In this Short Hop we’re time travelling way back… to the dark ages of the 90’s to read three issues of The New Mutants. Why? Because I like to torture myself, I guess. But really it’s because I’ve been writing my blog posts lately not through careful planning but on whims. This whim may have melted my brain a little, though.

You can consider this Short Hop a spiritual successor to two posts that came before it. The post where I read the X-Men reboot/relaunch… and the post where I last travelled to the 90’s and read some bad issues of Venom. Let me start at the beginning. I got into this current mess because of Deadpool. At first I wasn’t much of a Deadpool fan. In my eyes, he was just one of many generic characters traipsing around the comic pages. But then Cocoashade convinced me to watch the Deadpool movie, and I found myself unexpectedly enjoying it. After that I checked out a few of his comics and had fun with them. Especially enjoyable were Deadpool Vs. Black Panther and Deadpool the Duck. (Where he merges with Howard the Duck.)

Like what always happens when I get into anything, I decided to go back to the beginning. I read Deadpool’s first two limited series and they weren’t very good. Stiff writing, chaotic fighting scenes, nonsensical plots… they were forgettable. But then in 1997 Deadpool got an ongoing series and that was much better. I’m currently on Issue 11, reading it here and there in my downtime.

Then Marvel put Deadpool in the spotlight area of Marvel Unlimited. This is due to his 30th anniversary coming up. They listed out some of his notable series and appearances and I got the whim to check out his very first appearance, in the pages of The New Mutants Issue 98. I knew there was a story arc ending with Issue 100, so I decided I’d need to read all three despite my misgivings.

This brings us to the main problem I have with Deadpool… the problem that caused me to shun him for so many years. You see, Deadpool was created by Rob Liefeld. I cannot stand Liefeld. I alluded to this in my Gwenpool post, but I didn’t get into detail. Now I’ll briefly touch on the reasons. Keep in mind these are all my own opinions, so no hate. I’m not shitting on those of you who like the guy and his work. To each their own, and my own is not liking him. I’m just going to get a bit snarky here, that’s all.

Liefeld is not a good artist. There are many reasons for this. He’s sloppy, his characters are ugly, he doesn’t have a grasp of basic human anatomy, his poses are awkward and painful, he is obsessed with unnecessary pouches and straps, he can’t draw feet… the list goes on and on. Many others have done a better job at critiquing his art than I can, but I’m going to give it a go in this post. (If you ever want a chuckle, google “Rob Liefeld bad” and prepare to be horrified.) Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate him for his role in creating a character that I like, although it was later artists and writers that really developed Deadpool’s character and made him what he is today.

I’m sure there are many who like Liefeld’s work, otherwise he wouldn’t still be around. I’m no expert. I just know what I like, and I don’t like his art. I also don’t like his writing, his attitude, his tendency to copy characters, on and on. He was a big shot in the 90's, both at Marvel and Image, but I didn’t like him. I still don’t. But he “drew” and “plotted” these issues, and I’m going to suffer through them for you. For my whims. For my art! Here we go!

They’re not amazed by the new characters, they’re shocked by the crappy art. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: This is a good intro to Liefeld’s work. Look at all the cross-hatching! The lack of background. The wide open mouths and Cable’s missing pupils. Domino crouching just so she can fit in the frame. These are all elements that you’ll see repeated as we go on.

In short, The New Mutants was X-Men Junior. They were the younger team of Mutants, trained by Professor X in the use of their powers, teamwork, etc. For reasons I’m not clear on (I think Professor X died? Again?) the school was taken over by Cable, the beefy time-travelling son of Cyclops and Jean Gray’s clone. (It’s a long, convoluted story.) He soon renames the group to X-Force, also for reasons I’m not clear on. As you can tell by the cover, this issue also features the first appearance of Domino (who I loved in Deadpool 2 because she was played by the excellent Zazie Beetz) and some forgettable villain with an antigravity ponytail that goes by the fearsome moniker Gideon. Issue 98 was published in 1991, in the midst of the big wave of X-Men titles that were flooding the comic shelves. The 90’s, as I’ve mentioned before, were a time of excess and indulgence in comics. Over-sexualization, gratuitous sex and violence, insanely big guns, testosterone, and over-the-top stories. The three issues I read represent this time period quite well. (And no, that’s not a compliment.)

The comic starts with the oh-so-mysterious Gideon fighting a bunch of robots and bragging about how good he is at fighting robots. He also brags about being rich, influential, and good with the ladies. Apparently his mutant power is to copy other people’s powers. (Much like how Liefeld copies other people’s characters. But I digress.)

I have zero idea what they’re talking about. Also: antigravity hair. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Liefeld draws everyone scowling and looking like they’re about to bite off your nose. Eyes closed, teeth clenched. And I don’t think he knows how hair works. Side note, although I have no idea who these people are or what they’re on about, I’m pretty sure that’s a butler or secretary in the skintight white bodysuit.

We jump over to the X-Mansion where New Mutants leader Cable is sparring in the Danger Room with Sam, AKA Cannonball. (The Danger Room is the X-Men training area.) Cable is grouchy, Sam is whiny, and we get a bit of exposition here. The New Mutants are losing team members left and right and Cable doesn’t seem to care, which upsets Sam. Look, we have conflict like a normal story!

Then somebody named Eve poisons somebody named Decosta? I don’t know… it’s not referenced again in these issues. It would probably make a whole lot more sense if I read the comic more, but it doesn’t seem worth it. We flash to another scene where Boom-Boom (possibly one of the worst super hero names ever… scores right down there with The Whizzer) talking with Rictor, a team member I’m not familiar with.

Cable is in the library for some reason and is hit by something Liefeld doesn’t bother showing. This is where we meet Deadpool.

Deadpool in da house. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Deadpool looks about the same these days. How do those pouches on his thighs stay in place? I would think they would always be falling down. I love the lush green background of the library. And can Cable close his mouth? Maybe he has to breathe through his mouth since his nose is so dainty.

Deadpool’s personality isn’t completely fleshed out yet. He makes some lazy attempts at jokes and talks a lot. (Which I guess is a personality.) He explains that someone named Mr. Tolliver hired him to kill Cable for reasons not explained. Cable and the kids scuffle before Deadpool falls over with knives in his back. Enter Domino, in a rather unimpressive first appearance.

And Domino arrives. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Rob Liefeld is especially bad at drawing women. What is with that pose in the second panel? How can she possibly balance that way? Why is one eye a slit? Why does she sometimes have eyeshadow and other times she doesn’t? What’s in those pouches? More knives? Seems like a very dangerous way to store knives, if so.

They send Deadpool back to that Tolliver fella and Cable complains to Domino about how many teammates he’s lost. Later, Rictor abandons the team, running off to save Rahne, another member they somehow lost. (Lots of turnover in the New Mutants lately. It’s almost like Cable isn’t a good leader… It’s so hard to lead a team when you’re all surly and loner all the time. Poor Cable)

SHOCK. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Is Gideon a force ghost? More evidence of his other mutant power: antigravity hair. Odd font choice on the To Be Continued. And I cropped most of it out, but a lot of this page was white space. I think Rob was tired of drawing by this page.

As the issue ends, Gideon appears to some kid named Roberto and tells him his father’s dead. Oh wait… the guy who was poisoned maybe? I dunno. Everything is so vague that it’s hard to tell what’s story and what’s disconnected randomness. The writer seems content with leaving us wondering.

Standing in the void. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Liefeld loved covering up the title of the comic… a practice which seems odd to me. The void… better than drawing backgrounds. Or they’re in a completely white room. I think Boom-Boom is only crouching so he could fit her on the page. Women kneeling for no reason: another Liefeld staple. (Or a fetish?)

Issue 99 begins with a furry lady named Feral in the sewers escaping from some Morlocks. (Sewer-dwelling outcast Mutants.) Cable is trying to recruit a previous member of the New Mutants— a Native American man named James Proudstar, also known as Warpath. He’s one of X-Men’s traditionally culturally questionable characters. (He’s also a good two feet taller than Cable in some panels, and Cable is apparently 6’ 8” according to some quick research. Maybe Warpath’s Mutant power is being super tall?) Gideon spies on their meeting. Shortly after, Alberto is still sad about his dead dad and Gideon gets a bit touchy feely with him. (I know it’s meant to be him comforting the boy, but it came across as creepy.) After Gideon talks business with Alberto, we jump back to the Mutant’s hideout, where Cable is bitching at the kids. Like usual.

Perspectives are hard too. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Hey look, Cable CAN close his mouth. Where do his muscles go when he’s wearing a suit? His pupils randomly disappear too. Why the hell is Sam standing like he’s trying to do the splits? And it looks like he’s hovering his crotch over Boom-Boom’s head and she’s all shy about it. In that same panel, Domino is now the same height as Cable.

Bwahaha. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Anime speed lines to show Sam is upset. And oh lord, those running stances. I… I have no words. (I laugh every time I look at these panels.) Who runs like that? (Or hops in Boom-Boom’s case.)

The fight goes as expected. Cable is a dick and the younger Mutants get upset and run (hop) off strangely. I’m not sure why Boom-Boom calls Cable Milord, but her dialog in this scene makes no sense. How can you make a choice and also not make a choice? Unless your choice is to not make a choice, which automatically makes it a choice… Ugh, headache. I’ve thought about it every way conceivable, and have come to the conclusion it’s complete nonsense.

After this we cut to Warpath, returning to his reservation. Sadly, while he was having a pleasant brunch with Cable, his home was given the Skywalker Moisture Farm treatment. Instead of searching for survivors, he decides it was Emma Frost (who really isn’t important to the story at all, so I won’t bothering explaining her) and cries his oath of vengeance to the sky.

Professor Cable. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Professor Cable is hilarious to me. Who needs pupils? Why is Cable looking into the camera? This isn’t The Office and he’s not Jim.

Alberto quits the team too after Cable is a dick about his dead dad. After that, Domino and Boom-Boom spend a couple of dialog-heavy pages “training” in the Danger Room, but really it’s just a thinly-veiled excuse to show them posing in skimpy costumes.

The real reason for this scene. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Boom-Boom wears earrings to work out and she never seems to take those gloves off. Liefeld draws his characters without pupils so often that when he draws their eyes, it’s a bit creepy. And what happened to the spot over Domino’s eye? Was that makeup all along? I thought it was part of her face. No one looks the same from one panel to the next.

Cable’s secret power… he can expand himself like a puffer fish to threaten teenagers. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Oh, there’s his muscles. They were just hiding. It’s artistic to constantly stretch your art past the panel borders, right? So many unnecessary lines!

Sam and Cable get into a shouting match in Cable’s library. (Ha ha, Cable reading. Sorry, that still tickles me.) Sam walks off again. This is getting tiresome. How many times do we need the same scene repeated to get it? Cable doesn’t like or care about anyone and they’re all annoyed by it. There, point made in one sentence. You could have filled all that space with more training scenes or mysterious vague references to things that never get resolved.

Cable looks so happy about all the tragedy! (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Was Liefeld going for happy here? Character’s height changes from panel to panel. Plus, they’re back in the void. Backgrounds are hard. Also featured: Sam’s butthole armpit.

Next scene, Alberto leaves in a tearful farewell. Boom-Boom overhears Cable talking with Domino. (Story note, we still have no idea of her role in the team, her powers, her relation to Cable, anything.) Cable admits— within earshot of everyone— that he’s secretly pushing the kids out on purpose so he can rebuild the team his way. (Spoiler warning— the fact that Boom-Boom overhears this has ZERO impact in the story or her character. It never comes back and is completely pointless.) Not long after this Warpath signs up to get revenge for his people. (Did he ever check to see if they were actually dead?) Feral is somehow spying on the group through some sort of mesh ceiling.

Splash panel takes on a new meaning with the green slime Shatterstar is lying in. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Why is there a giant screen door in the ceiling? Is that smoke or slime around Shatterstar?

Not to be rude to the woman, but they have to be able to smell Feral. She was in a damn sewer 20 pages ago! Did she stop off to use the shower before climbing into their ceiling? And on the other side of the page, a man in white is passed out in the Danger Room with no explanation or context. Liefeld and Nicieza have no clue how to properly introduce a new character. Me, I know this is Shatterstar, but at the time this was released no one had seen him before. So his first appearance is lying passed out in green goo. Not, you know, dramatically teleporting in and then passing out from the strain. Nooo we don’t have room for that because we needed several scenes of Cable bullying kids. This could have been executed better. So, so much could have been executed better.

Thoughts: If I thought Issue 98 was disconnected, Issue 99 was just boring. Seriously, very little happened. I know comics were only a buck back then but I would have wanted my dollar back. There was a lot of angst, a lot of talking, and the only action was Boom-Boom’s ass flying across the room. This has to get better, right? Well… you’d think so. You’d be wrong.

Our journey ends with the double-sized final issue of The New Mutants, Issue 100, which is billed as “spectacular”. Is it? Let’s find out!

Spectacular? (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Clutter is the bad artist’s best friend. If there’s a lot going on, people might not notice how bad it looks. The purple and white background clashes with everything else. I like how the old team members are tiny in the back like they’re afterthoughts.

The issue opens with a battle between the Mutants and Shatterstar— whose powers are not explained. (Domino’s still haven’t been either, for the record.)

THWOOMPH. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: I’ve got no notes on this. It is indeed a THWOOMPH. The best depiction of a THWOOMPH I have ever seen. Good job, Rob.

Near as I can figure, Shatterstar’s Mutant power is “fighting real good”. And Domino’s is “kicks and knives”. Neat. Anyway, they subdue the newcomer as Feral continues to spy on them like a creeper. Some armored guys teleport in looking for Shatterstar and at the same time the Morlocks arrive, looking for Feral. What are the odds? Comic book logic, ey? Also the X Mansion has some pretty shitty defenses if everyone can just waltz right in with no problem.

Shatterstar gives his backstory (without explaining his powers of course). He’s an alien rebel who wants help fighting an alien named Mojo. After this brief breather, Boom-Boom finds Feral fixing herself a snack in the kitchen and starts fighting her. (Gotta protect that last pudding cup.) Then everyone fights the armored guys. In one slightly interesting moment, Shatterstar stabs his enemy through his own body. Gotta admit that’s kinda badass.

Stabbity. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: You interrupt your splash page with a bunch of tiny panels? Also the sound effect seems to have warped the panel. Weird. Random shadows… another friend of the lazy artist. With enough shadows you don’t have to draw facial details. We’re learning a lot today.

They make a big deal about the armored guys being ten times stronger than Shatterstar, but they take care of them pretty quickly. After all the armored guys are down, the Morlocks make their attack. Cable shoots one of them and the other two run away like wimps. It’s very anticlimactic.

Drama. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Hey, they all have feet. (Except Feral.) Tiny, tiny feet that in no way could support their body weight, but feet all the same. No one has faces though. And the void now has a cozy orange rectangle in it. (Side note, Cable called Boom-Boom Sam in panel 2. Just more lazy writing I suppose.)

The gang talk about how they’re all a team now. A force for change in the world. Blah blah blah now they’re X-Force. I think I’m supposed to care. As Cable would say… “Whatever.”

Elsewhere, a guy in heavy chrome named Stryfe has a group called the Mutant Liberation Front, some of whom are former members of the New Mutants. (They keep shortening this to MLF, which I kept reading as Milf.) Stryfe removes his helmet and— gasp— he looks like Cable. The end. To be continued in X-Force #1.

GASP. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)

Art Notes: Does his glowing eyeball shed no actual light or is his face covered with ink? Liefeld went wild with the cross hatching here because drama. Or maybe Stryfe’s armor is just really scuffed up.

Thoughts: I wouldn’t call it spectacular, but it did have a lot more action than Issue 99. Some things came to a head, but not really. They didn’t beat Mojo or the Morlocks— just held their forces back. Gideon didn’t bother showing up at all even though there was all that set-up the last two issues. Cable’s new team pretty much just fell into his lap— two of them were intruders. I can see what they were going for— setting up future storylines to get people psyched for the new series, but it felt like a waste of a final issue… especially the final issue of a series that had lasted nine years. To me it came across as: “We’re bored with this series, it’s played out, time to do exactly the same thing but with a different title.“ I would have been very disappointed with this non-ending if I were a fan. I mean, I had a bunch of New Mutants comics from the 80’s when it was weird and interesting. Those were nothing like these issues. This just seemed like page filler. Like they were wasting time to get to Issue 100 before they relaunched as X-Force.

I initially read this to see the first appearance of Deadpool, and he was only in 5 1/2 pages total. Ugh. He was pretty ineffectual and disconnected from everything else. Actually it was ALL disconnected. Did any of this tell a coherent story? Nope. None of it. Very little happened, nothing got resolved, and the big climax of the “story arc” is that they have a new team name and lineup. That’s not how endings work… endings are supposed to be a culmination of what’s come before, some sort of satisfying conclusion or act break. This was nothing. This was… okay, I’ll use it again, since it really is the best description for stories like this… this was “a bunch of stuff happened and then stopped happening”.

Still, Deadpool was the high point of these issues, which isn’t saying much. These three issues of filler were a struggle to get through, and lots of it still doesn’t make sense to me. I know I was extra snarky on my critique of these issues, but they were just plain boring to me and the only way to get through it was to pick them apart. The plot dragged and went nowhere, the art and writing were clumsy and lazy, and the series ended with a fizzle and several weak attempts to promote the comic’s successor. I could see myself being intrigued by the shocking reveal at the end when we see Stryfe looks like Cable, but that’s only if I cared about this iteration of Cable. I know he and Deadpool both get way more interesting when Liefeld leaves them to other writers and artists. I also know that Stryfe is Cable’s evil clone because my head is packed to the brim with useless Marvel trivia. (For that matter I know this Domino was an imposter and her actual Mutant power is that she’s super lucky.)

Still, it wasn’t all bad… just almost entirely bad. A few things amused me on these issues… aside from the silly, silly art that’s so much fun to make fun of… like the goofy dialog. And the thought of Cable wearing tailored suits to read books with his tiny little bifocals. And really, when you come down to it, isn’t that the point of comics… to entertain? And to set up dozens of future plotlines so people keep buying more issues? In that respect, The New Mutants did what it set out to do.

Thank you all for coming with me on this trip back to the terrifying comic landscape of the 90’s. I’ll be back soon… likely with something even worse! Like X-Force #1?

NOOOOOOOOO!

So close Deadpool. That was almost a knife to the dick. (Credit: Marvel Comics. Writer: Fabian Nicieza. Art: Rob Liefeld.)